The 7 Beastiest CrossFit Workouts Of 2016
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Every year the competition gets more fierce, athletes get fitter and stronger, and coaches devise even more ways to push their people to the edge. 2016 has been a great year for CrossFit, and a great year for hardcore workouts.
We’ve seen a lot of the assault bike, and the weights on the barbell just keep on going up. To celebrate our collective gains, Velites have selected seven of the beastiest workouts of 2016, and we challenge you to give them a try.
Contents
We’ve assessed them on the basis of how difficult they are overall (how much they suck), and given them a percentage weighting, looking at strength, skill, gymnastics and stamina.
Give them a try, and let us know how you do, by sharing your results with us on Facebook and Instagram.
The 7 Beastiest WODs of 2016
Look out for our special ratings below each workout, to pick the one that’s going to challenge you the most.
2016 CrossFit Games Event 14 Rope Chipper
- 200-m ski
- 50/40 weighted double-unders
- 200-m row
- 50/40 weighted double-unders
- 0,4-mile bike
- 50/40 weighted double-unders
- 200-m row
- 50/40 weighted double-unders
- 200-m ski
- 50/40 weighted double-unders
- 90-ft. sled pull
- 140/100kg
We have to kick things off with the weighted double-unders event from the Games. It wasn’t just one of the most challenging (hats off to Josh Bridges on this one), but it included something we’d never seen before at the Games — weighted double-unders.
There’s something about the weighted ropes and the rawness of the sled pull that really got the crowd going. Great event.
Shop Velites Fire 2.0 With Weighted Handles
Ultimate stamina workout
- 70% Stamina
- 15% Skill
- 15% Strength
Josh Bridges, Bike and Thrusters
- 100 calorie assault bike
- EMOM 5 thrusters 60/42.5 kg
This one comes by way of Josh Bridges’s Instagram.
As a former Navy SEAL, Bridges is used to feeling the grind in his legs and lungs, and there’s absolutely no more horrifying a combination to destroy your legs and lungs, than assault bike and thrusters.
The worst part, is that calories on the assault bike are so much harder than calories on the rower; something anyone who’s ever used both will attest to.
You can try and go hard on the assault bike if you want, but 100 calories is a lot. We recommend around a three-quarter pace for most of the way, picking up when you’re near the end.
Straight up stamina workout
- 100% stamina
CrossFit Open WOD 16.5
- 21-18-15-12-9-6-3 reps for time of:
- Thrusters
- Burpees
- 42.5/30kg
We cannot stress enough how much this workout sucks. If there’s anything other than assault bike and thrusters that’ll demolish your will to live along with your body and lungs, it’s burpees and thrusters.
Worst part is, this for time, and it’s not one you can cruise. 16.5 is all-out, or as close as. You’ll need strength, stamina and a lot of guts to finish this one.
Balls to the wall workout
- 20% strength
- 60% stamina
- 20% speed
2016 CrossFit Games, Event 7
Double DT
- 10 Rounds:
- 12 deadlift
- 9 hang power cleans
- 6 push jerks
- 70/50kg
As if regular DT (5 rounds) wasn’t bad enough, Double DT seems to be never-ending.
Some elite competitors will take a two-second break between the deadlift and cleans, but most will deadlift with a clean grip and do the entire round unbroken (which is awful!) If you’ve never tried DT and think that it doesn’t sound too bad, do one round and we guarantee you’ll change your mind.
Double the rounds, double the suck
- 40% Strength
- 40% Stamina
- 20% Speed
2016 CrossFit Regionals, Event 7
- 1,000m assault bike
- 100ft handstand walk
- 10 overhead squats (102/70kg)
- 500m row
- 50 burpees
- 5 overhead squats (102/70kg)
- 16:00min cap
The programming at Regionals usually isn’t designed to destroy athletes, they’ll need all the juice they can get before the Games, right?
These events are more often than not, designed as crowd-pleasers, something to get people excited for the Games.
But for some reason (probably because they wanted to win), everyone went all-out on this one, and after the bike and handstand walk, heavy overhead squats are no joke.
Surprisingly hard if you go all out
- 30% Stamina
- 25% Speed
- 25% Strength
- 20% Gymnastics
Built By Bergeron (to Destroy You)
- 3 minutes max legless rope climbs
- 2 minutes max muscle ups
- 1 minute max strict hspu
- 3 minutes max rope climbs
- 2 minutes max bar muscle ups
- 1 minute max kipping hspu
Bergeron is one CrossFit most renowned programmers and performance coaches, with both current champions (Davidsdottir and Fraser) under his tutelage.
This deceptively simple-looking ditty is actually a serious test of strength, stamina and skill. Watch out the minute of strict HSPU.
Deceptively simple, deliciously difficult
- 40% Skill
- 40% Strength
- 20% Explosiveness
Ben Bergeron No.2, Grip Hell
- For time:
- 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1:
- Hang Power Cleans + Push Jerks* (60/42.5kg)
*Complete 10 unbroken Hang Power Cleans directly into 10 unbroken Push Jerks, then drop the bar – that is set one. Rest as little as needed to pick up the bar up again and complete 9 reps of each without dropping the bar – that is set 2.
This one appeared on Bergeron’s site sometime in November of 2016, and is one of the most dreadful tests of grip we’ve seen in ages.
As you can see, the goal is keep hold of the barbell throughout the cleans and push jerks, dropping only between sets. Nope, nope, nope. Not only will this tax your forearms and shoulders, your lungs will be burning from all of that time under tension.
Cheers, Ben.
Death Grip WOD
- 50% Strength
- 50% Stamina
There you have it, the 7 beastiest workouts of 2016. 
Yes, it’s highly subjective, and you might think there’s something that sucks way more than anything we’ve included here, and that’s why we encourage you to join us on Facebook and Instagram.
Merry Christmas, from everyone at Velites.
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